As you and your family have been processing through and praying about Matt’s health, your kids may have begun to ask about him and want updates. Our hope is that this entry would help you point your children to Christ through this situation and will help you answer their questions in a way that is adequate and age appropriate.

As far as Matt’s condition is concerned, there is not a lot to tell them. Like the rest of us, your children likely have more questions than there are answers. What we do know is that Matt had a tumor in his brain and the tumor made him sick. He had a surgery to remove it, and the surgery went really, really well. That is great news. But there are still some parts of the tumor left in his brain. This is what we know.

Here are some things to keep in mind as your family processes together.

Be Honest, Yet Emotionally Aware – Your kids may have hard questions about things that are uncomfortable to talk about. When this happens, the best course of action is to be honest with your child. Don’t, however, give more information than they have asked for and be discerning as to how they will receive the information.

Let Your Child Ask the Questions. Don’t Lead Them There – Your child will likely ask questions. Answer their questions. But in most cases it isn’t wise to bring up questions that they haven’t yet thought of and which they may not yet be ready to deal with. Just answer their questions as honestly as possible without giving more information than is necessary.

Always Lead your Child to Christ as Quickly as Possible – Christ came to save what is lost, and heal what is broken. In times of uncertainty, it is always the best course of action to lead your child to put confidence in the character of God and in the work of Christ. God is good and is in control. It is easy to think that God is good and in control when everything goes right, but when things unravel, we begin to blame God and doubt His character. But the truth is that God does not change. He is good all the time. Matt is one of God’s children, and God is a wise Father. He knows what is best for Matt and his family. God is a generous Father. He is giving Matt what is best. God is a loving Father. He is doing what is best for Matt. And God is a good Father. He is what is best for Matt.

It Is Okay to Say, “I Don’t Know.” – Children are amazingly deep. They ask questions as three year olds that the brightest men in the world have been trying to answer for centuries. If it hasn’t happened yet, it will happen that they ask you a question you just don’t know the answer to. Don’t make up an answer or avoid the question. Acknowledge the question and let them know that you don’t know the answer to the question. It is always fine to go ask for help in answering a question that is beyond your ability to explain.

SO WHAT SHOULD WE DO NOW?

Pray – Leverage your conversations with your children to additionally teach them about prayer. God is still in charge of everything, and He has given His children access to talk to Him through Jesus. And it is ok for us to ask God to heal Matt. It is ok for us to desire that our friend and pastor would get better. And it is ok to present that request before the Lord. He both hears and responds to His children’s prayers. So we should pray. And we should in our prayers seek first and foremost the glory of God. So pray with your children.

Pray for:

• Matt’s healing. We desire for God to heal Matt, and that is an ok desire, but it should not be our hope. (see JR Vassar’s post for helpful thoughts on the difference)
• Matt’s family. Through a hard time, Matt is walking closely with his family. It obviously affects more than just him. Pray for continued faith for him, his wife and his children. Ask for continued strength, rest and a Christ-centered heart.
• Our church. Pray that God would hold our congregation closely and guard us from unhelpful gossip, speculation and fear. Pray that this trial would draw our church as a whole closer to the heart of Christ.
• God’s glory. In all of these things, pray that God would be glorified. He is worthy to be shown, honored and enjoyed as most valuable. This is true when things are easy and when things are hard.